| The
longstanding theological debate between Arminianism and
Calvinism heated up last month when Sprint announced a
new service in their cell phone technology called
Proof-Text Messaging. For a small fee, Sprint cell phone
customers will now be able to send short, abbreviated
Bible verse references to thwart their theological
opponents. Currently the most popular proof-text message
sent to Arminians is “JON 6:44, U SEMI-P DOG,” while
Calvinists are receiving the classic, “FYI TULIP-HEAD,
JON 3:16.”
Betty Johnson,
spokesperson for Sprint, says that their new “Friends
and Heretics” phone plan is just another way the
company is striving to reach the rising Christian
market. “Here at Sprint we realize that rebuking
others with God’s word shouldn’t suffer in this
face-paced society. From now on, preachers with cell
phones should anticipate lightning-fast biblical
correction from their congregation immediately after
every sermon.”
Mike Gavin, a
seminary student and staunch Calvinist, is thrilled with
the new technology. “Between my class studies and my
job at Subway, I have very little time to slam my ‘Free
Will’ buds. But now I can just send ‘PREDESTIN8
THIS! EPH 1:11,’ and watch the dust fly.” Adds Gavin, “BTW, if
Luther had this technology back in 1524, he would have
spammed that Erasmus dude big time. ROTFLOL!”
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