“Our current stockpile of rhyming Schullerisms isn’t going to last forever, people,” cautioned Norton Hollerman, head scientist at the Zondervan Institute for the Study of Christian Consumerism. “No offense to Rick Warren’s recycling efforts, but we need more than hope to cope.”

After a year-long study, the scientists have concluded that the inspiration reserve produced by “WWJD?” is not only at a dangerously low level, but the lame follow-up acronym, “F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God),” has not created the impact necessary to fuel Christianity into the next decade. Even more frightening was the study’s finding that the current king of catchphrases, “Purpose Driven,” is now causing a sudden gag reflex in over half of the Christians tested.

According to Hollerman, the shortage of inspiring slogans for Christian consumers has been exacerbated by the recent success of other religious faiths in exploring their own alternative sources of encouragement. “Apparently the ‘Got Buddha?’ campaign has really started to catch fire in the New Age community,” Hollerman revealed. “In addition, we understand that the Mormons are now in the process of launching two new catchphrases, ‘What Happens in the Temple, Stays in the Temple’ and ‘Joseph Who?’”

So where does this leave the Christian community? Hollerman concedes there is no quick fix on the horizon. “Until seminaries place more emphasis on training advertising executives instead of theologians, we could see some very dark days ahead.”