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JULY 2008
--- Vince McMahon, chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE),
announced today that revivalist Todd Bentley has signed on to
compete on Friday Night SmackDown! as a featured wrestler in
his organization. Said McMahon, "After watching Todd knee-slam a
Stage 4 colon cancer patient in the stomach during the Lakeland
Healing Outpouring, I knew he had what it takes to be the next Hulk
Hogan." Bentley,
who is known for his flamboyant, physically-aggressive "laying on of hands"
to heal
the sick, was excited about the opportunity to display his
signature wrestling moves outside of the church. "Knocking
around crippled people with the power of the Spirit is
getting way too easy," explained Bentley. "I'm ready to take
it to the next level and win the belt for Jesus."
The Florida revivalist, who has taken
the ring name "Bam-Bam" Bentley, is scheduled to appear on
SmackDown! later this month. His first opponent will be
Umaga, the Samoan Bulldozer, who has vowed to destroy the
rookie by ripping off Bentley's prophetic mantle and
bludgeoning him with it. Todd's strategy for winning?
Running away from his opponent while screaming, "Touch not
God's anointed! Touch not God's anointed!" |
