Despite his injuries and substantial property loss, Billings still credits The Purpose Driven Life with giving the intruder some food for thought. Explained Billings, “I’m pretty sure he got a bad paper cut when I used the book to deflect some of his punches.”

In light of Mr. Billings’ misfortune, Zondervan issued a statement through their spokesman Lawrence Murphy, who cautioned the public not to attempt to subdue criminals with Warren’s book alone. “While we appreciate CNN and Larry King for helping us milk this Atlanta hostage story for all its worth,” Murphy announced, “we think the public needs to be reminded that Rick’s book isn’t the only resource that can offer the insight to change the life of the most hardened criminal. That’s why we hope consumers can wait a couple months until we publish our next bestsellers The Purpose Driven Hostage by Ashley Smith and The Purpose Driven Life Sentence by Brian Nichols.”

When reminded that Zondervan also publishes Bibles, Murphy answered, “Oh, yeah… that could work, too.”

Publisher Plans To Adapt Christian Classics For Teens

In an effort to make classic Christian literature more accessible to today’s teens, Thomas Nelson Publishers (the people who brought you the trendy Bible-zine, Revolve Bible for Girls) has announced its plan to produce a new series of adapted works by famous Christian authors from church history. Says Senior editor Kate Etue, “We look forward to taking the timeless writings of great Christians like Bunyan and Spurgeon, and updating them in a way that can appeal to our youth without harming the eloquence of the originals.” The first classic work to be published in the teen series? Jonathan Edwards’ “Uncool Dudes in the Hands of a Totally Cheesed-off God.”