Dear Twin Theologians: Do you see any value in the recently-restored Gospel of Judas manuscript? --- Patty Gentry, Mankato, MN

Maurice: Oh, sure, there's "value" alright. Just ask the National Geographic Society how much money there is in hyping this stupid thing. Cha-ching!

Emmett: Don't be so harsh, Maurice. The National Geographic Society has purely scholarly motives. That’s why I'm giving them the first shot at acquiring my recent archaeological discovery, The Gospel of Larry.

Maurice: The Gospel of... Larry?

Emmett: Yep, written by Larry... Larry Magdalene, Jesus' father-in-law. Man, this is juicy stuff. For the small price of $1 million, the Society can buy this controversial document today, produce a sensational TV documentary about it within six months, and undermine orthodox Christianity just in time for the 2006 Christmas season.

Maurice: Wait a minute, your so-called "gospel" looks like it's written with a ballpoint pen on notebook paper. Why in the world would the Society want to buy your obvious forgery when they already have an proven ancient manuscript to promote?

Emmett: Hey, I just figured if they want to peddle fiction, they could use some fresher material. Frankly, if they don't want it, then I'm selling the movie rights to Scorsese.